Welcome to DrPaul2012!
There is one doctor running for President and he’s no ordinary doctor, he’s an obstetrician. ”Obstetrician” is a big giant Latin word for “Push!” If you’ve seen Dr. Paul in the Republican debates, you’re probably wondering just what the hell he’s pushing. Now you can find out! We’ve put all of Dr. Paul’s easy-to-read books online with a short review of each. Begin the journey with us by clicking through the slides in numerical order.
We’ve been getting a lot of questions about Dr. Paul’s newsletters. Dr. Paul’s newsletters are no longer in circulation but we’ve put together a compilation just for you! In this special offer, find out what everyone else is talking about, including Dr. Paul’s eerie Manson-like predictions of a coming race war, how 95% of the African-Americans in Washington, DC are criminals (and that doesn’t include the ones in Congress!) and how the only thing that saved Los Angeles from the post-Rodney King riots was the distribution of welfare checks to calm the savages. Hard-hitting stuff from the bygone era of the 1990’s, before political correctness destroyed the ability to tell the frank truth about the darkies.
This is the place to start if you want to learn about Dr. Paul. Dr. Paul has been a coot since before you were born. He began running for President when Angus Young was still in short pants. In this richly illustrated autobiography, find out the ups and downs of Dr. Paul, his loves and losses and what keeps him awake at night other than his 80 year old bladder.
In this remarkably poignant introspective written in diary form, Dr. Paul exposes his deepest fear, with the word “Inflation” scrawled madly across page after page. Reading this will make you yearn for bygone days when the economy ran like a sewing machine except for the infrequent depressions, near-constant recessions, bank panics, stock market busts and crushing poverty. If you think standing in a bread line is a good time to talk to your neighbors about Jesus, you’ll love Dr. Paul’s prescriptions.
The only thing scarier than inflation is The Taxman! Once he creates a symbiotic relationship with your back pocket, there is no running away from him. The Taxman has been vexing Dr. Paul in particular since the graduated tax schedule was instituted. Having to do really hard math WHILE being robbed by The Man is insult on top of injury.
The Flatax is a wondrous invention that, although never having actually been tried anywhere, is guaranteed by leading conservative think tanks to produce a limitless supply of revenue for the government while simultaneously allowing everyone to pay less taxes! Dr. Paul’s simplified flat tax plan is Pay 10% or $200.
Why do we pay so much in taxes, you ask? The short answer is YOU don’t. However, Dr. Paul does because he’s really freaking rich. He owns gold mines and stuff. But for the little piddly bit of taxes you pay, the reason is simple- you have to feed the children of lazy, unemployed people. Dr. Paul explains how your tax money doesn’t fund anything you will ever use but instead goes specifically to welfare, foreign aid, and the occasional preposterous scientific study, like the mating habits of sneetches or something equally ridiculous.
In this book, you’ll find out who stuck the cactus up Dr. Paul’s ass. He dispenses some tough love to the lazy people mucking it up for the rest of us. Dr. Paul explains the difference between “makers” and “takers” and how being a maker is preferable unless you’re taking business risks or making babies. Tony Robbins credits this book with changing his life and writes a moving foreword. (Ha! “Moving foreword” cracks me up every time I read it.)
Dr. Paul puts on his professor hat or outfit thingy- maybe a lab coat or a smoking jacket, I dunno- and does a case study of an affable, good-hearted taker named Horton. Dr. Paul shows you how we’d all be better off if Horton was dead. In real life, Horton is helped and in turn helps others, who in turn help others, who in turn help even more others. Dr. Paul patiently breaks down the cause and effect ripples and shows how not helping Horton in the first place, and allowing him to die, breaks this awful cycle of dependency. This book showcases compassionate conservatism, with a foreword by Peggy Noonan.
Yes!, you think, someone is saying what I’ve always known to be true! Where can I learn more about Dr. Paul’s obstetrics? Here, my friend. Right here. In Green Backs and Hemp, Dr. Paul outlines the fundamentals of a properly-working society: bling and drugs. Dr. Paul educates the reader about how money should only be backed by gold and when we stopped backing money with gold, everything went to pot. Pass the weed, brah!
In If I Ran The Fed, Dr. Paul educates the reader on the dire perils of a quasi-governmental institution tasked with conducting the nation’s monetary policy, supervising and regulating banks, preventing bank runs of the sort that precipitated the Great Depression, maintaining stability of the nation’s financial system, providing financial services to depository institutions and the US government, all free of political influence. As part of their treacherous and destabilizing monetary policy, the Federal Reserve is legislatively charged with keeping the unemployment rate as low as possible and keeping inflation in check. If Dr. Paul ran the Fed, regional offices would be converted into laser tag gaming facilities.
In this studiously researched tome, Dr. Paul explains how leaving the gold standard and going to a fiat money system is the work of the devil. (Well, it was actually Richard Nixon but a little confusion on the part of the reader is understandable.) When you learn that our money is actually worthless, you’ll be setting piles of it on fire and laughing at the horrified looks of your friends and family. Joke’s on them!
Just in time for Christmas, Dr. Paul’s holiday classic exposes the villains behind the fiat money system. There are no creatures on earth as fearsome and merciless as the world’s central bankers except for Bond Vigilantes (not covered here) and maybe zombies. This book has a happy ending though: there are no zombies in it.
So now that you’ve set all your worthless money on fire, you’re probably wondering how you purchase goods and services. Not to worry! Dr. Paul gives you the ins and outs of bartering; that is, trading goods and services for other goods and services. If you’ve ever traded sex for drugs, then you’re already ahead of the game. If you haven’t, Dr. Paul tells you how.
Now that you’ve learned the basics of obstetrics, the only place to go is somewhere far, far away- away from the takers and the central bankers and the you-know-who devils! In this beautifully illustrated travel guide, Dr. Paul tells you the best places to hide your precious productivity from those that would exploit you and bring about your downfall.
Thank you for visiting. Please tell all your friends about us!
Special thanks to Laurel, Betsy and Oliver.
BTW, here are some additional slides we didn’t use: